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If praying helps sooth your pain then by all means, he there to listen; but if you get preoccupied dont beat yourself up. Third I suggest you talk to someone, even a stranger online can help. Also, vent, cry, scream, let it out when you feel you need too and are able (like throwing up when you sick, it sucks and it may feel embarrassing but you feel so much better afterwards) researching and diving into topics of death, the end times, war, tragedy; which sounds like you are; can actually be a decent coping mechanism if you using it to better understand your pain vs "emotionally cutting yourself" reading up on morbid curiosities can effectively curb your confusion and fear (which is essentialy a fear of the unknown.) By replacing it with helpful, boring knowledge..

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